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First of all, sorry for the language, but I sound pretty silly when I write in German. The topic is quite interesting for me, coming from South America, living in Züri for the best part of a decade, being a used-to-be-terrible-with-girls kind of guy. I think because a girl (no matter her looks, though of course they help) feels like meeting a particular guy, that does not automatically mean the guy is into her and MUST engage (bad hair day, in a relationship, just not in the mood, into boys, etc. etc.) The only way you could really know is by asking him, and him giving an honest answer. I really liked a previous comment on the red/yellow/green female body language (ignore/eye contact/smile). A smile/heavy eye contact means go in my dictionary, but only if I want to. I'm not obliged and that is the beauty of being a guy. I can choose to engage or not. Girls, if they choose not to engage first, have to wait and hope the guy they like engages. It's really cool when you think about it. I always wondered what it would be like to be a really hot/attractive girl, but after a while I realized that it must be annoying most of the time to get all the unwanted attention from all those guys I'd probably not be interested in anyway. Nowadays I'm really comfy around girls and being tall and dark and Latino and bla bla (I would just say, in a very Swiss way "not bad" ;) but that's irrelevant), but most importantly confident (basically not giving a f*** about a possible rejection) I have no problem talking to and meeting girls, locals or not. I only and almost always engage girls I am really interested in (looks, charisma, outfit, the book she is reading, how she reminds me of someone, etc. etc.) and I never take rejections personally because they aren't. She can be in a relationship, bad hair day, not shaved her legs today, be into girls, etc. etc. However, it's a fact that ALL guys WILL be rejected in their trying-to-pick-up-girls training skills throughout life. This is something that girls usually never realize or train for that matter (society, male-must-engage mentality and so on), and those who are brave or drunk enough to try it once, if they crash and burn, are "scarred for life" because "men are supposed to hunt" and so on. Did it work the first time you tried to tie your shoes when you were a kid? You get my point I hope. Personally, I was approached by girls only a couple of times and I found it very flattering. Anyway, rather than generalizing, I would (finally) say that every person is unique and there are too many variables to consider when trying to figure out "why this" or "why that". City girls, if he is interested (and has the confidence/desire/interest to try it) he will come to you. Give him the signals that you are interested (or not). If he approaches when you are not interested, give him the credit of having tried and decline politely, no need to be bitchy about it :) City boys, go for it and talk to her if you are interested goddammit!! The worst thing that can happen is that she says no. You never try, you never know. She might be the one for you, so just go for it!! Understand that many of them they like being desired, chased, and sometimes treated like a piece of meat (in bed mostly). Always be courteous and respectful when you approach a girl, and if she says no, don't take it personally, you never know what is going through her mind. Maybe her dog just died or she heard the same cheesy line 10 times already that day! A tip: "you look so hot" is probably the worst you can say. On the contrary "hey, you dropped this", get her attention and then immediately say: "kidding, just wanted to talk to you" (with a confident smile) is fresh, funny, and much more interesting ;) All and all I love this city and it's variety, people could be more open to one another but that's culture. And weather :) We are not in South America after all. Peace!
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Pfingsten,im Badi bei Kilchberg - warum sprecht ihr Männer uns nicht an?
First of all, sorry for the language, but I sound pretty silly when I write in German. The topic is quite interesting for me, coming from South America, living in Züri for the best part of a decade, being a used-to-be-terrible-with-girls kind of guy. I think because a girl (no matter her looks, though of course they help) feels like meeting a particular guy, that does not automatically mean the guy is into her and MUST engage (bad hair day, in a relationship, just not in the mood, into boys, etc. etc.) The only way you could really know is by asking him, and him giving an honest answer. I really liked a previous comment on the red/yellow/green female body language (ignore/eye contact/smile). A smile/heavy eye contact means go in my dictionary, but only if I want to. I'm not obliged and that is the beauty of being a guy. I can choose to engage or not. Girls, if they choose not to engage first, have to wait and hope the guy they like engages. It's really cool when you think about it. I always wondered what it would be like to be a really hot/attractive girl, but after a while I realized that it must be annoying most of the time to get all the unwanted attention from all those guys I'd probably not be interested in anyway. Nowadays I'm really comfy around girls and being tall and dark and Latino and bla bla (I would just say, in a very Swiss way "not bad" ;) but that's irrelevant), but most importantly confident (basically not giving a f*** about a possible rejection) I have no problem talking to and meeting girls, locals or not. I only and almost always engage girls I am really interested in (looks, charisma, outfit, the book she is reading, how she reminds me of someone, etc. etc.) and I never take rejections personally because they aren't. She can be in a relationship, bad hair day, not shaved her legs today, be into girls, etc. etc. However, it's a fact that ALL guys WILL be rejected in their trying-to-pick-up-girls training skills throughout life. This is something that girls usually never realize or train for that matter (society, male-must-engage mentality and so on), and those who are brave or drunk enough to try it once, if they crash and burn, are "scarred for life" because "men are supposed to hunt" and so on. Did it work the first time you tried to tie your shoes when you were a kid? You get my point I hope. Personally, I was approached by girls only a couple of times and I found it very flattering. Anyway, rather than generalizing, I would (finally) say that every person is unique and there are too many variables to consider when trying to figure out "why this" or "why that". City girls, if he is interested (and has the confidence/desire/interest to try it) he will come to you. Give him the signals that you are interested (or not). If he approaches when you are not interested, give him the credit of having tried and decline politely, no need to be bitchy about it :) City boys, go for it and talk to her if you are interested goddammit!! The worst thing that can happen is that she says no. You never try, you never know. She might be the one for you, so just go for it!! Understand that many of them they like being desired, chased, and sometimes treated like a piece of meat (in bed mostly). Always be courteous and respectful when you approach a girl, and if she says no, don't take it personally, you never know what is going through her mind. Maybe her dog just died or she heard the same cheesy line 10 times already that day! A tip: "you look so hot" is probably the worst you can say. On the contrary "hey, you dropped this", get her attention and then immediately say: "kidding, just wanted to talk to you" (with a confident smile) is fresh, funny, and much more interesting ;) All and all I love this city and it's variety, people could be more open to one another but that's culture. And weather :) We are not in South America after all. Peace!
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